Everyone has struggles. If someone says that they are not struggling they are lying. We all have moments when we don't feel up to par. Moments when we feel like nothing we do is right and we are useless. If we were perfect at everything, what would be the fun in that? What life lessons would we learn? My most recent struggle is with simply being good enough. Am I a good enough mom? Am I a good enough wife? Am I a good enough Christian? Am I a good enough friend? There are many different answers to those questions that make me feel like I am failing. My son is nearly always late for school and I yell at him because he doesn't seem to "get it" when I tell him to hurry. My infant has decided that he wants to wean when he is not even a year old. I get irritated with my husband over trivial things and jump to conclusions. My house is a disaster area and it seems like every step forward is met with 4 steps back. I have more questions about my faith than I have answers. I haven't seen my best friends in person in months due to various reasons. I literally hate talking to people on the phone & don't even get me started on answering text messages. Do people really message someone back? I tend to answer the message in my head and completely forget to "send" it. I have all of these short comings and questions. I know that I have a purpose and I'm still trying to figure out exactly what that purpose is. I know that God has a reason for me & I'm trying to find that reason. What is my ministry? Where is my mission field? How can I serve him? These are all questions that I struggle with & I'm trying to find the answers....
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I am super new at this blogging thing....I am not very good at it, and I keep forgetting to post. Things have been very rocky the past couple of weeks, but I am definitely keeping my faith. I know that no matter what gets thrown my way, as long as I lean on my creator, he will help me through anything. I never thought for one second in my life that I would be this calm in the face of adversity. It will all come together and it will all be okay. I am confident in that. On to a more positive note, I am 25 weeks pregnant, today! In just a few short months, I will be welcoming a new little blessing into my family. Words cannot describe how that feels. Knowing that I have been entrusted with the caring of a new human life is absolutely amazing. It is an astonishing blessing. I am a simple girl from a simple place. I live in Eastern Kentucky and have my entire life. I am surrounded by mountains and everything is peaceful (for the most part). I am a working mom (48+ hours a week) and I own my own business...which you can visit, here. Things around here get really hectic & in the mishmash of everything, I feel like I am losing part of who I am. I am very secure in my faith and I hold strong to my beliefs, but that is just about the only thing I am sure of.
I have a very active soon-to-be 7 year old little guy who I struggle with from time to time. He is headstrong and stubborn. I try to be gentle with him as I know he is growing and learning everyday. There are times that his rambunctiousness is EXTREMELY difficult & I find myself losing my temper with him. I yell at my precious child & he doesn't understand why. I am trying my hardest to make it a point to have conversations with him about why his good behavior is important & how his life will be impacted by the choices he makes. I try to help him to become a Godly Man and show him God's grace and love through my actions. How can I do this if I am yelling? God doesn't yell at us. He is gentle with our mistakes and covers us in his grace. I find myself getting short with him very frequently & want someone to help hold me accountable for that. I think by blogging my frustrations & reading my shortcomings, I can become a better parent & person. I want to do the best I can for my little guy & for my future little guy. Children are a blessing and in the spring when we welcome our newest little blessing, I want to make sure everything is just perfect. I want to make sure my sons have the best possible experience with me as their mother and that they always feel blessed and loved. I want them to know that they can count on me for anything. That is where this blog comes in....I want to post my struggles so that I might get help with becoming more gentle, more graceful, and more of the mother that I feel God wants me to be. I want to be slow to anger and quick to love. There are also some other areas I need help with. Being a busy mom, my house is NEVER clean and organized. I need this to change. I want my home to be a haven for my family & right now our "stuff" is taking over our lives. I need to become more organized & I honestly am lost at where to start. I am also struggling with food. I am an incredibly picky eater & I don't try new things very often. I want this to change. The health of my family is super important to me and we all need to start eating cleaner. I try to purchase mostly organic foods (which is incredibly hard in my area) and shopping with a budget is even more difficult (at least it is for me). I want to be a meal planner. I want to eat better & spend less money doing so. I want to try to eliminate the processed-chemical-filled junk that lines my cupboards. I have so many plans for this little space & I hope I can make myself a better parent & person by having this place to help keep me accountable. |
AuthorAmber Varney is a mother from Eastern Kentucky. She is co-owner of a natural products store. She is the wife of Scott and the mother of two amazing boys, Brycen & Landon. Archives
April 2017
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